You don't have asthma, your pregnant
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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