I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
