I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
