Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
