I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
