he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
