i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
