used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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