Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
