$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
