bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Everclear isn't food dammit
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
