Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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