is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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