So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
