I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
