So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
