I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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