Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You took a bar mat shot.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
