Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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