im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
