Can i not drive my cunt home
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
