I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
