I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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