I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
