Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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