Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
