i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
You can't special order awesome
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
