You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
