I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
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Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
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HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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