they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i think my cat just said my name.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
