We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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