he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
