first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
