we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
