just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
