I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
