His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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