That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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