Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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