So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
