It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
NoShamevember. You game?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize