My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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