Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize