White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
