dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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