so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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