I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
