Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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