i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Just invented taco cereal.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
