Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
