Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
