Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
