I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
