Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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