If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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