I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
