It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
