I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
