You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
